Bandaluthia Coolio

Hermano Conio, Brother Coelho.

Halfling Cleric of Yondalla (Dallah Thaun), Ordained "Wayward Warden"

Hermano Conio's family was poor.

Poor enough that selling things that were dear to them started to make a great deal of sense when their value was weighed against the pangs of hunger they all felt. Hermano's mother and father had seven children. Hermano was the second youngest. Only his baby sister was younger. Only his baby sister ate less than Hermano did. She still fed from her mother. Hermano ate what was left when the rest had eaten. Hermano was slowly dying. There was not enough food for him.

One day Hermano's father took him to the temple alone. Not on the usual day, not even at the usual time. It was late in the day, and night would not be far away. Hermano's father held a small bundle. Hermano knew that it held all of Hermano's worldly goods. His second set of rags. The ones with fewer holes and more threads. Herman thought he should have worn them to the temple, but his father said no.

Hermano was presented to the temple, and given over for the princly sum of one loaf of bread and one unskinned rabbit. The family would eat well tonight. Hermano would eat better than he had done on weeks. He too had rabbit stew, but unlike his recent experience of rabbit stew, this time there were actually still small pieces of rabbit meat in it.

For seven years Hermano lived in the temple grounds, studying in the seminary, working in the gardens, and serving in the temple as an acolyte. In exchange he was housed and fed better than his family. He was seldom
beaten, and proved a willing and able student. One old priest in particular showed a great deal of interest in his studies. Just before he was to take his first level examination, Hermano was called to the cell of his mentor.

The old man sat at his table, piled high with books and scrolls as it always was. The old man signed to Hermano to sit on the old man's bed. This was an honour that he had never been allowed before. Usually he stood and listened to the old man's lesson for the day. This time the old man appeared to be treating Hermano like a friend, or as his son. He always called Hermano "my child", but this time it was almost like he was genuinely treating him like his own child. For the past year Hermano had been called Brother Coelho. The old man had often just called him Coelho, a familiarity that was not used by the other priests or even his fellow acolytes.

This time, he said "come in Hermano". Not "Enter Brother Coelho". Then, "Have a seat my child", and indicated the bed, the only other place where it might be possible to sit.

"''Hermano, in a few short days you will be taking your first level examination, and will undoubtadly come through without much effort. You are a bright lad, and we can expect great things of you in time, if we do not spoil your spirit first.

Do not look surprised boy! You know as well as I do that you could work far harder, but get by with enough effort to remain a star pupil without expending more energy or study time than absolutely necessary. If you follow the path we have mapped out for you, you will soon become tired of this pattern and will start to rebel. That will either lead to punishment and your reluctant complience, or you will break. I do not want that to happen to you. I know this, because I too took the same path you are destined for.

I have prepared a place for you on the outside. It will be very different from your life here. You will have to stretch yourself a little more, which I believe you will come to enjoy. I shall explain your absence to your tutors, and provided you do not shame yorself out there, you will have a place to return to here when you have sampled the world our congregation experience every day. It will make you a better priest.

Go now and make your preparations,but say nothing to anyone. Return to me at the same time the day after tomorrow. Dallah Thaun, and Yondalla will provide. You will be living in the house of providers, but of a service of
which not all avail themselves.

I am going to ordain you into "The Wayward Wardens". You Brother Coelho, are going to provide and protect the people of the city. From within their midst''."

... and that my friends is how this young, newly ordained priest ended up living here of all places.

I believe Pete owed the old cleric a favour somehow. Pete seems like a good man with his heart in the right place.

---

Perhaps it would have been better if Pete's heart was not in the right place. Maybe then he would still be among us instead of among the dead. Oh what terrible news. Pete, and all the girls are slaughtered by some foreign vermin. Two out of three of the brothers who protected the establishment also went to their deaths. Sam very nearly did too, and probably would have if I had not bestowed the power of Yondalla in time. Now it is the turn of Dallah Thaun. Pete was not a Halfling, but I swear by Dallah Thaun that I shall avenge him and the girls.

Perhaps this was the destiny the old man foresaw. Why did he not warn me, I could have maybe saved their lives. But then again, if we had been there whn the savage attack took place, it may have been our blood that ran down the steps into the street.

We are few, and we are inadequate, but with Dallah Thaun's help, (perhaps even the assistance of the half-Drow's goddess I dare not speak her name, and even whatever unspeakable deity that the Tiefling acknowledges if there is one,) coupled with the sword arms of the strange Orcling pair we will prevail. HellHound probably wants to avenge Bam and Ram who helped Sam bring his almost lifeless body back to me if there is any gratitude in his soul. ... and he certainly owes me for all the times I have patched his thick skin.

I shall use the poor scraps we managed to recover from the belongings of the dead to finance their retribution. I shall use the powers of Dallah Thaun in any way I can. I have sought guidance, and the bitter quest for revenge sits well with Dallah Thaun I believe.

Abdullah died too easily.

He died not understanding why he died. The leopard was not really why he died, and he died to easily for even that; too tidily, she said "Messy".

His henchmen should be used to further the reputation of our little party. I shall leave the crocodile and the wolverine to work on their bodies for a while. That will increase Hellhound's reputation. The bodies should be found part-eaten, but then we should take away the animals. Let people believe that Hellhound had his fill. It will only help our cause.

But Abdullah's body I want untouched, we will take it with us, back to my church. I will explain to my mentor that this is the body of the man who had Pete killed, but that he did not die knowing why he died. I will ask for a way to let his soul know why he died; Dallah Thaun will understand. Then I would like to have his body preserved and for it to stand at the entrance to our house as a reminder to others.

We can run our house as Pete did. A few well chosen girls who pay rent for their rooms and in return get the protection of "The Animals". We can keep the animals we saved, except for the Leopard that belongs to our guild mistress. These can be a feature of the house.

Abdullah will now learn why he died.

If I read good father Irmão correctly, he has caught well the fact that Pete needs to be fully avenged according to the will of Dallah Thorn. Pete was not a halfling, but as a friend to several, and as a good man, his death should be avenged both in this world and the next. The cart and horses should be payment for that service and for the healing of Hellhound. _{(If I do not miss my guess, he might have brother "Vinnie" Vingança do that job. Sometimes my body still cringes at the memory of that man, I will certainly never steal another pie. "Vinnie" would probably have done it for fun, but I could never approach him myself. I would only tremble and be unable to speak to him.)}

It grieves me greatly to admit it, but I fear I alone cannot keep our party alive if we continue this dangerous course. Despite their great skill at arms, our muscle lacks the protection I should be providing. How many times can this lowly cleric drag their willing bodies back from death's door alone? One of these days I will fail, then we will be mourning again, if any of us survive.

I shall once more seek the help of my mentor, father Irmão. But first I must persuade the rest that spending some of our hard earned funds on healing potions is going to be worth while. I need to find a way to persuade them without losing face. I have yet to sell the "good" jewels, and thus provide my own portion of those funds. The 100gp that I got for the poor quality jewels will barely cover the cost of keeping us in food and drink for the next few days, and they always take pains to remind me that I consume at least an equal share.

100gp would probably only get two potions of cure light wounds or eight of cure minor if I remember the Temple's prices. They could easily go in a single fight the way we work. The Orclings are keen fighters, and hit really hard when they do, but they have yet to master the art of not getting killed.

Yondalla will provide of course, but even the bountious godess requires something to work with. Those excellent nuts from the spice shop, and those delicious pork balls from "Maggies" served only to remind me that I have eaten as little as two meals a day recently. (If you don't count breakfast.) Subsisting on scraps and hurried snacks in taverns is hardly fitting of our new station as guild members.

Traumatic Learning

I don't think today did our reputation any harm at all. After Siberius had focused everyone's minds, I think the lesson the new guild members might remember best is: "Don't *mess* with the Animals".

Nailing half eaten bodies to the gates might have been a touch gruesome, but it was a nice touch. I must remember to ask Dave whose idea that was. Hellhound's reputation, and therefore the reputation of the animals was well served by that. Then his ex-enemies gave us the opportunity to reinforce that in the guild itself. With the permission of Siberius himself no less. - and a couple of potential allies.

He who fights and runs away...
Is probably a tiefling spellcaster. At least the bottom of the cart was well protected. Thank Yondalla that we bought the healing potions and scrolls. We needed them again. Even Rats Tail needed healing this time.

A guilty feeling.

When Dallah Thaun demands revenge for the death of innocents, or when the killing is in self defense I have no quaking in my bowels, but the fallout from killing of those town guards could have been avoided. They were not involved in our fight. Well, until "Rats Tail" found his blood to hot to be contained in his own veins they were not involved. That red-eyed magician can be pure distilled trouble, as well as a good friend and a coward.

Yes, I admit, we had just killed six people between us. But they were assassins trying to kill us. I think even the town guard would see our side on that score. Did we stop to explain our plight? No. Rats Tail brought up the darkness of hell, then when we had avoided the first two, he shot the next two. Yondalla and the skill in Brother Coelho kept us alive, even if I could not avoid the fight completely. So, OK, they were then trying to kill us. Their deaths are not what grieved me so. It was "our" deaths that would grieve me.

When Dave told me that a halfling was to die in my place I was stricken. The other innocents troubled me too, but not to the degree the halfling did. My heart ached for the family of the innocent men, and I could not bear the guilt. The very moment 2nd breakfast was over, I took Doogle to visit the temple. (Along with provisions for the journey, it could be a while till we ate another meal.) Two halflings visiting the temple of Yondalla would arouse no suspicion, so the stranger would serve not only as a good bodyguard, but as a disguise into the bargain. We arrived as the priests were finishing their mid-morning snack, so the provisions were a fortunate precaution.

Father Irmão listened to my outpouring with the patience of a saint, and it was obvious he guessed the real story, despite my glossing over the exact details. We talked in couched terms at first, but then he spoke freely. He Called Me Coolio !. I was shocked that he knew the name that my new friends called me. Sure he has called me Hermano once before, but Coolio was a great shock. The meaning was not lost on me. Father Irmão knew more about me than I had told him. More than I believed he knew. Then he dropped the other shoe, and it was a big one.

He told me Vinnie would be pleased. Not Brother Vingança. - He called him Vinnie.

My heart, already delicate from guilt and grief turned to stone at the mention of his name. I didn't even know Vinnie was a follower of Dalla Thaun, yet here was Father Irmão telling me that Vinnie was not only not out of my life as I had fervently hoped, but that he was to know of my transgressions if he did not know already. I remembered the pie I stole, and the pain of Vinnie's lesson for me that resulted from the stolen pie. I remember it was a delicious pie, but no pie would ever be worth the pain I felt for stealing it.

Then to hear from Dave himself that Vinnie had already spoken to him of me shook me to the core. If I had not just that minute aligned myself with the guild, I think I might have walked out of Bandaluthia and never returned. What have I done? I have joined a guild, where Vinnie is probably a member. I am almost certain to meet him one day, and he will know how I cried when he whipped my poor buttocks raw. He will remember my pleas for mercy, and he will ignore them, just as he did that day, and the next, and the next, until the beatings no longer drew blood and I no longer cried out for mercy.

I just hope that I can redeem myself with my new family before the day comes when Vinnie takes his revenge again. I have traded off 10% of the price of the we get for the jewels with Oberau who is a changed man from when we last met him. I explained that I wanted his help in setting up a good price, but he did better than I hoped, and has a mark in mind and believes we can get as high a price as I had hoped. If we do, he will certainly have earned his 10%. We need all we can get to cover the cost of "Mr Wolf's services".

I also need to get myself a new set of vestments and a shield I lost my cloak and symbol of Yondalla in the clean up. I may now be aligned to the guild as "Coolio", but I am also still Brother Coelho, ordained Wayward Warden, cleric of Yondalla/Dallah Thaun, and must still be seen as such.

Provenance

They probably think I am insane, but hopefully they will come to understand why I did it. I thought "Rat's Tail" might get nasty when I asked about his background. Luckily he just got defensive. Interesting that he has such an important ancestor. Young Shaniqua has quite accidentally added much to the provenance of the jewels. Not only were they eventually stolen from the devil's descendant, but it took "more than one attempt" and the first attempt was known to cause some problems for the robber who tried.

Now the story has even more chapters. Men have died fighting over these jewels, and they have been stolen a number of times, with more than one attempt at theft ending badly.

We got the money we needed from the sale of the jewels, but most fortuitously, we still have the jewels. Oberau badly misjudged the ability of our little team, and has cost us dearly. However I think he may still be a useful ally in the future.

I must find a way to redeem the situation. The others agree that splitting the 2000 GP that he cost us would be a worthy gesture, I am wondering how to broker the negotiations. As a halfling to halfling negotiation, I am tempted to seek Father Irmão's assistance, but as a guild member, I wonder if Dave is the man for the job. Dave is already suspect in some respects, but bringing in Father Irmao risks him bringing in Vinnie, and that might not sit well with me. I fear that if Vinnie is involved, I would instead promise Oberau the very moon just to be away from Vinnie's presence.

I wish Shaniqua would return. She would have been useful in our discussions of which of the girls to take on board, and might even have ideas as a guild member of the best way to approach negotiations with Oberau. - and indeed, whether it is worth the effort of trying. That girl does choose the most inopportune times to wonder off alone.

Yondalla preserve us.

I think we may be knee deep in excrement. For some of us that may only be ankle deep, but I fear Doogle and I are deeper.

The observation of Dave did not go completely to plan. To make things worse, young Shaniqua may have landed us further in the mire. Of all the people to have hired as our protectors, we have hired the very hitmen who cost us fair dealings with Oberau. They scare me almost as much as Vinnie does. Both Dave and Rat Tail's mage tutor seemed to think it a reasonable step. They are indeed efficient killers, but can we actually trust our lives to those who could take it from us with so little effort?

Animal House

22 Acacia Avenue is now ours. When I say ours, I am of course talking about The Animals, but to be honest I do not yet feel it is our home. There is still the unsettling element of the protection we have hired. Having Antoine there does in some way help, but the four "guards" are quite another matter. I know I am not alone in this feeling. Even the Rats Tail seems uneasy, especially with the most unruly one "Vandrel". I think Shaniqua has been bullied and tricked into suggesting them. She said she was hurt, but showed no sign of injury which made me suspicious of her, but Griff did say she had her throat cut when he saw her earlier. So maybe they have "persuaded" her. If so, it is only another reason why they should be removed from our lives when we can manage it. The young elf girl may be impetuous and a rabble-rouser at times, but if I find out one of those ruffians used a blade to intimidate her into letting them work for us, Dalla Thaun be my witness, he will regret it.

Which reminds me, Abdulla should be ready now.

These Harkers are going to be a continuing menace too. The fight today was really close. Never have I been so in need of more healing for my friends. The fight was courageous. Especially the brave halfling Doogle. He puts down enemies even better than he puts away pies. His carving knife may be a little ostentatious, but he uses it with great skill, repeatedly dishing out large portions of whoopass sliced from the bone.

Moving in.

We are finally moved in to 22 Acacia Avenue. It has not been an easy transition, but it is now achieved.

It would appear that my relationship with Oberau is at an end on a permanent basis. I was hoping to fix the misunderstanding that caused the anomisity, but it appears beyond redemption. I had hoped to use the 1000gp I had kept back to add a little jam between the layers of our halfling cake, and to ice over the gaps. To form a whole cake made of different, but complimentary layers with a binding core of the rich sweet fruits of our mutual labours. However Father Irmão left me in no doubt that he considered the relationship a write off with no chance of healing.

We have proved ourselves able to actually work with "The boys" after all. We cooperated in rescuing Naiomi from her captors, and not only did we achieve the goal, but we did so without spilling any of our own blood. I was extremely nervous of the potential results of sending Vandrel and Shaniqua on a joint mission. To me the likely outcome was carnage and perhaps even ruin, but they worked together it seems to rescue our missing resident without more than a single guard needing to become deceased. Yandalla does indeed work in mysterious ways sometimes. The impetuous flighty girl and the ruthless loose cannon actually worked together and got the job done.

Abdulla turned out to be an unacceptable feature for the parlour, so he stands in Dalla Thaun's shrine as a reminder that revenge and retribution can be achieved even after death. A pity really, as it would have been a wonderful reminder to potential trouble makers what happened to Pete's killers.

The whip inn is no longer a safe haven for us. The owner stupidly even fired Carly and the rest for actions taken by the Harkers. Carly now works for us instead. She has been a good friend, and good friends should be nurtured. The Harkers however have not been our friends. We learned that the missing Tyvan was assassinated by them. Caught alone and attacked from behind, the poor barbarian met a barbaric and sudden end. At least he went quickly. The Harkers have earned a place in the mind of Dalla Thaun. A place they will hopefully one day regret taking.

Full Guild Membership

Freddy Carver himself has made us full guild members. With full membership come priviledges and responsibilities. Advantages, but also disadvantages in some ways. We soon found out about both, and there were fatal consiquences. Doogle has become the second victim of the Harkers. Just like the other barbarian, he was caught alone and assassinated by them. This feud is highly dangerous.

We have also seen that even brothers die if they cross their guild. While rescuing some children from human traffickers, including my own dear baby sister, we were crossed by Bob, the volitile and fickle brother of Mark, the North Docks Water Rat boss. Bob died, and by the sound of it at the direct command of his own brother, if not by his own hand.

We succesfully rescued the captives, working quite well with the Water-Rats given that it was a very impromptu and hurried mission. "The Archangel" seems to have run foul of the Water-Rats, not for the abhorent traffic in children, but for avoiding their "fees". From what we could see, their retribution is swift and thorough. The Water-Rats are to be admired for that if nothing else.

The temple has sent "Qu" to join us. I am not sure if "Vinnie" is rewarding me for rescuing the children or punishing me for some transgression I am not even aware of. I could end up spending my life curing the burns "Qu" causes with his constant inept fiddling with the makings of the world. How the meddler passed his exams I will never know, and how "Vinnie" never caught on to his tinkerings is beyond me. Still, he proved an able member of the Animals when we rescued the children.

I think the emotional impact of rescuing my own baby sister may have clouded my mind. My bowels still quiver at the very sight of "Vinnie", but at one point, he almost seemed to approve of my actions. I have asked the oriental chef to make a pie for him. Hopefully it will go some way towards replacing the one I stole. The Rabbit Pie I have requested for my mother and father should let them know I do remember them. Even if I am no longer part of their lives. I shall return it with their other missing child, my baby sister.

Hermano Conio is slowly fading as brother "Coolio" Coelho rises. Perhaps it is Hermano Conio that fears "Vinnie". Maybe "Coolio" can gain his respect, and look him in the eyes one day.

Death and life

Today we avenged Tyven, Doogle and Rat's Tail. Yet Rat's Tail walks amongst us yet. How this happend was simply amazing. The revenge was swift and complete, yet it was Rat's Tail himself who brought it about. Even though the poor fool who died will spend eternity believing that Shaniqua brought about his downfall.

We had been embarked on a different mission. That of bringing about he termination of Donis Hathers, and his band of child traffickers. Yondalla helped protect and preserve the lives of the children, now Dallah Thaun is helping to bring about the de-animation of the culprits. The rogue of their party, Felix has already joined the ranks of the ex-mortal. We were in the Satyr & Sickle having a little relaxation after a job done without me having to cure any of us, when Rats Tail left alone. He had forgotten the Harkers. That one slip was enough to bring about his death.

Continued ...

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