Armagada QS

Allow me to introduce myself. I am QS, an aging gnome of exceptional taste and deteriorating eyesight. Like most aging mentor figures, I come bearing both sage advice and gifts. The price for both is that you must endure me prodding you from time to time with my pointed quill.

(Your armor class will withstand the assault, but your ego might not.)

First, let me express my admiration. You are unusually diligent and creative for a group of adventurers. In fact, your example inspired me to spruce up my own presentation a little. Who says an old gnome can't learn new tricks?

I awarded points on the following criteria:

Achievement: You told your story and put something on these pages at all — 200 pts.

Clarity and Layout: Your layout enhanced your storytelling, or made your presentation easier to read.

Visual Artistry: Your pages were pretty, and the images appropriate to the story you told. Also nice if the images improved your layout, harmonized with one another, or added depth to the story told in your text.

Storytelling: You amused or interested me (always difficult, for I'm a demanding audience.)

Bonus Points: I awarded these at whim.

This is where the ever discerning QS renders specific judgments on pages.

Woodstrike

Strengths. Solid storytelling. I really enjoyed reading Woodstrike's story, especially the details of his misadventures with magic.

Growth Areas. I would like to see a bit more motivation included in your backstory. Also, Meetup has spell check for a reason. Though their spell check is sadly Americanocentric, I still suggest running it on your page.

XP Awards. — 250pts total

Achievement: Completed.

Clarity and Layout: This gnome notes that the web is not paper. It is difficult (especially with my deteriorating eyesight) to read long stretches of text unbroken by headers.

Visual Artistry: Nice logo, but it seems too metallic for your characters style and background. I'd like to suggest an alternative, if I may:

Feel free to use it (or not) as you see fit.

Storytelling: As I said, your story is a solid one.

Bonus Points:

Astra

Strengths. This gnome admits a shameless soft spot for librarians, so I was predisposed to like this page. Quite fortunately, you lived up to my high expectations. Kudos.

Growth Areas. Astra has quite an interesting history, but seems a bit lacking in personality and quirks so far. What really irritates him? What really motivates him? Both of these could be fleshed out more.

XP Awards.-- 250pts total

Achievement: Completed.

Clarity and Layout: Use of headers and boldened bits of key text created excellent clarity. My only caveat is that you may have overused the bold text a tad.

Visual Artistry: I very much enjoyed the logo of the librarians and the main character.

Storytelling:

Bonus Points: Having a background page for more information was a delightful treat. Thanks for putting so much thought into this.

Tamuríl

Strengths. You did a wonderful job exploring your family background.

Growth Areas. I can see that heritage is very important to you, Tamuríl, and you are right to be proud of it. Still, I'd also like to know more about who you are aside from that heritage. What skills have you discovered? What is your dearest dream? What concerns you?

XP Awards.-- 250pts

Achievement: Completed.

Clarity and Layout: This gnome notes that Century Gothic font is both smaller and lighter than Meetup's default text. Please, be kind to my aging eyes, and understand that this choice made your page virtually unreadable to me on the web. (YES, I had to print it out... on paper. This made QS a cranky gnome. You do not wish to deal with cranky gnomes, do you? I thought not.)

If you must use Century Gothic, I suggest increasing the size to 3, and maybe even bolding it for increased legibility.

You had:
My name is Tamuríl Séregon.

Here it is increased to size 3, and bolder:
My name is Tamuríl Séregon.

Ah... My old eyes feel better already!

Visual Artistry: The logo is very nice, but I am unsure about the appropriateness of the stones as a border image. Do the stones have anything to do with your story? Are they special to your family?

Storytelling:

Bonus Points: This gnome loved the inclusion of the photograph of your miniature! Very nice touch.

Lúthien

Strengths. This page is simply lovely to look at. While I'm not certain what the mage at the top has to do with your character, it is very, very pretty.

Growth Areas. Not much. Just fix those overlarge images and don't center everything.

XP Awards. — 325pts

Achievement: Completed.

Clarity and Layout: Overall, this page was a delight for the eyes, and very well organized. You used both headers and border images to increase this page's legibility.

This image and this image are both 800 pixels wide, and are causing your page to have an unsightly horizontal scroll that is also making it slightly more difficult to read.

I will give you some leeway on this, because I note that the official guide to using images on Meetup is not completely clear that you need to be under 800 pixels to avoid the scroll. (Hmmph. I shall have to have words with the guide's creator about this oversight.) If you reduce the image to 799 pixels (or less) you should solve this problem quite easily.

Another note. I would prefer it if everything was not centered, just the images and headers.

Visual Artistry: Exceptional. Your images harmonize very nicely with one another.

Storytelling: I really love the conceit of having the character speak to us directly, and then the shift into the more objective information. The first gives us a taste of the character's personality. The second lets us know some things that maybe he wouldn't have said openly. The story itself is quite dark, but wonderfully told. I really feel like I was inside your character's head.

Bonus Points:

Korath

Strengths. Korath, you did exceptional storytelling here. I got a wonderful sense of your tragic past, your motivations, and your personality. In addition, I loved how well all the images in your story harmonized with one another, and the recurrence of orange and black was a good reminder of both the darkness and the monk training you have had.

Growth Areas. At some point, I'd love a picture of you, but I understand that you are quite shy about your appearance.

XP Awards. — 350pts total

Achievement: Completed.

Clarity and Layout: Hmmph. Didn't you just hear me lecture Tamuríl on the use of Century Gothic? My objections to this font choice still stand! You are both fortunate that I had a good supply of paper in my printer...

Visual Artistry: Exceptional. This page was a treat to view.

Storytelling: I loved hearing your story told in your own voice, Korath. You spared us nothing, and I got a wonderful feel for who you are and where you have come from. I also felt touched by your darkness and despair.

Bonus Points: Inclusion of the miniature image was a lovely touch. Much appreciated.

Carlton

Strengths. Clarity of layout, and librarian logo.

Growth Areas. I really know almost nothing of Carlton's personality here. Who is he? What does he really dream about? What does he fear? Also you should probably link to your other character's page in your story, since finding him was so pivotal.

XP Awards. — 250pts.

Achievement: Completed.

Clarity and Layout: Excellent clarity. I like the idea of bolding key points.

Visual Artistry: The logo is well done but I would not mind another image of books or swords or something else that represents your character.

Storytelling: Your story is a clear retelling of key points, but I would like a bit more character motivation please.

Bonus Points: Once again, I enjoyed the link to the bonus page for more information.

Ammelath

Strengths. Both the storytelling and the visual artistry are exceptional, and your layout is clear and easy on the eyes.

Growth Areas. Please do not use copyrighted images without permission and credit.

XP Awards. — 325 pts

Achievement: Completed.

Clarity and Layout: I'm not usually fond of long stretches of colored text, but it works to distinguish Ammelath's viewpoint from that of her player. The headers are functional in addition to being ornamental, and I found that I could scan the page easily for what I need. My only complaint was that I would have preferred it if the majority of the text was not centered.

Visual Artistry: The page is gorgeous, no doubt about it. The images all evoke Ammelath's fiery nature, and they go very well together.

Now for a more difficult concern. I am Quality & Standards, not Law & Order, so I may be straying out of my assigned area. So be it.

I note that while it is perfectly in character for rogues to steal, copyright infringement is a different matter. There are certain coastal wizards that get downright testy about such things. Since one of your images looks like it was taken directly from the players handbook, you might want to request WotC's permission for its use.

I do suggest that you look over the following: 10 Big Myths About Copyright Explained.

Storytelling: Ammelath's story is an interesting one, and I did enjoy seeing it from both from her view and from a more objective standpoint. You did an excellent job of showing us both perspectives, and your layout was a pleasure.

Bonus Points:

Rowanfury

Strengths — Unusual brevity.

Growth Areas — Alas, "edit this" did not grab me as a character story. (Unless of course Rowanfury feels that phrase is a metaphor for his life, and serving as his primary character motivation.)

XP Awards

No content, no points.

We hope that this feedback has been helpful to the benighted minions of Armagada.

Quite sincerely,
QS

...and in reply.
Response To Our Judgements

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